Taking a Break From Guys?

dating

If you know me, this sounds just untrue…. but let me explain:

 

2017 was not my year in a lot of different ways and one major reason was my failed “love life”.  Then again I haven’t had a good year in the guy department since I was in kindergarten because that was the last time a boy I liked, liked me back.  Even so last year was particularly bad. At least 5 different guys expressed concern about ending up on my blog. It felt cool at first because I was like “Oh man, I’m the Taylor Swift of the blog world” but then I didn’t like it as much… A guy I was “seeing” (this term is used VERY loosely) literally cried about the idea of ending up on my blog. That ‘relationship’ (this term is used even more loosely) ended quicker than it started.  

 

Anyway, the point is, that’s one of the reasons I have been on hiatus from my blog.  Another reason is that I am in the middle of a quarter-life crisis, attempting to figure out the next step in my life and as a result, I haven’t been in the writing mood.  Have no fear though, here are some of the events from last year that I wanted to write about:

 

  • I reignite a flame from my freshman year by sliding into his DM’s (one of my favorite pastimes) and he actually told me that he had a low key crush on me so I thought perfect. Well, it was not perfect.  There wasn’t any spark, at least on my side, and this is the boy that cried about the blog post so it was pretty obvious it wasn’t going to work. Also, it ended with one of the most traumatic, gross, and also hilarious experiences of my life but I’m too embarrassed to publicly talk about it at this moment in my life…

 

  • A door reopened with a person that I thought was permanently shut, but after it reopened it shut almost immediately after. Now I believe after about 3+ years with this person in my life, I think the door is ACTUALLY shut and locked. I would go into detail but this person reads my blogs.

 

  • Another guy from my past saw me one night at the bars when I was visiting my college town and he proceeded to slid into my lifestyle Instagram DM’s but I didn’t see the message till I left.  Fortunately, a month later I was back in town so I finally DM’d him back and we reignited the flame…. But that flame is officially out for good now.

 

Other boys were sprinkled throughout the year but those were the major bullet points.  As I said, it wasn’t a great year for me in the boy department but I tied up loose ends and permanently shut some doors! I made a vow to myself that 2018 would be different.  I was going to try my very best to just slow it down with guys and take my love life more seriously because it has been a joke for the past 22 years. I’ve been pretty successful so far. I haven’t gone on any dates this year, it may be up to debate as to whether or not that is by choice.  Honestly, I can’t really tell if this break from guys is intentional or not but regardless, it’s happening….

 

 

 

Until next time,

 

Tara Jacobson

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Falling in Love in a Laundromat

dating

My love story with Laundry Boy started back when I was a junior in college. I was taking clothes into a dry cleaner and the boy working there was about my age.  He was making polite conversation that verged on the line of flirtatiousness, and automatically, I assumed he was into me.  I went home and told my roommates that my dry cleaner had a crush on me, which did not phase them. I made this statement at least once a day about a variety of guys.  If a guy did as little as make eye contact with me, I was convinced they loved me.  Unfortunately, this was/is seldom the case…UNTIL this time. Little did I know that this mysterious dry cleaner boy would cross my path 6 months later.
Fast forward to senior year, when I was finally 21.  I spent the majority of my weekends getting drunk downtown and “flirting” (it should be noted that I didn’t do this successfully most of the time, but we digress) with boys.  One particular night, my friend pointed out a boy she thought was cute, but was too nervous to approach him.  I told her that I would go talk to his friend, and then she could swoop in. That friend was a rather large sweaty man doing salsa moves in the middle of the bar wearing a red silk shirt. YOU GUYS GUESSED IT—this boy was none other than dry cleaner boy, who later became known as Laundry Boy because it rolled off the tongue better. You may be thinking that was nice of me to go talk to this guy for my friend, but to be honest, that was the type of guy I often found myself involved with. (Note: I have since changed my ways). My friend ended up being too nervous to approach the guy, so we decided to leave, BUT not before Laundry Boy asked for my number. Because I AM AN IDIOT, who is always afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, I complied.  Laundry Boy texted me almost immediately telling me that his friend actually was interested in my friend, and suggested a double hang out, if you will.  So, in the end, my friend successfully got her boy with A LOT of help from me. You are welcome, friend. You might think this was the end of Laundry Boy and I, but you would be wrong because, as I mentioned earlier: I AM A STUPID IDIOT.
Laundry Boy and I proceeded to have a very weird and short-lived “relationship” of sorts. THIS BY NO MEANS WE WERE A COUPLE. I’d like that to be so very clear.  I thought, you know, I am going to give this guy a chance because he could be a nice guy. So began the series of RED FLAGS.
RED FLAG 1: He wore a necklace with a mushroom in it that he claimed had magical powers.  He told me that if he wore it on his bare chest the energy was too intense. He even let me wear it. Unfortunately, I did not experience the magical powers.
RED FLAG 2: He always talked as if he had attended college, and when I finally asked him where he went to school, he admitted that he actually went to a 9-month technician school. He swore this was “way harder that going to school at Cal Poly, and was more work than a four year degree.” (Note: I have nothing against someone who chooses to go to trade school, but do NOT tell me it is more difficult than a four year school when you haven’t even gone to a four year school.)
RED FLAG 3: I once asked what he was up to, and he responded by saying he was “making money to support your lifestyle”. WHATTTTT. Sorry, come again?! I never once asked him to pay for anything of mine. Also, I am a feminist and don’t need no man to pay for my things… except, of course, for my dad.
RED FLAG 4: You would think that I would learn after three red flags, but I never do.  In the wise words of Sansa Stark, “I am a slow learner, but I learn”.  He asked me on a date, and suggested that we go to the skate park at 10:30pm to play UNO. I wish I could make this stuff up, but this was his actual idea for a date.
RED FLAG 5: After I got mad at him, he started crying. I’m sensitive too, but get your shit together dude.
RED FLAG 6: He told me he was attracted to my roommates. This is a no-no and I wish boys would learn this already.
RED FLAG 7: He also mentioned that he wanted to hook up with my roommate, which was ultimately the final straw.  I will honestly keep hanging out with a guy no matter how weird they are, but the moment he mentions wanting another girl…BOY BYE.  Why would I subject myself to a guy who I am not attracted to, who is weird, AND talks about other girls?
So finally, after all the signs, I told him we weren’t going to see each other again, which made him cry again. I thought I had made it pretty clear we were done, but he proceeded to text me for a few months after…without any response back.  I finally thought he was over it, but about 2 months ago, I had two missed calls from him at 3am. Fortunately, the last time I saw him, he was holding hands with a girl, so I really hope Laundry Boy found love. As for me, I’m single as ever, but that’s okay because I feel like Relationship Tara would have less “fun” stories like this one.