A Tinderella Story

*this story has been censored for the sake of my viewers older then 35

I am not embarrassed to admit that I have a tinder.  At one point it was a bit taboo to be on tinder because of the stigma it gave off but now a days people are finding there significant others on there so I thought maybe the same would happen for me. Wrong. But I have no regrets because I now have a great story that some may even call a fairytale considering I lost my shoes at midnight but we’ll get to that later.

I’ve dabbled on tinder for awhile never going on dates with anyone because no one really sparked my interest.  That’s not to say I never met someone off of tinder but we didn’t go on a ‘date’ per say.  Finally I was talking to a guy that seemed like he had potential.  He was some science-y math major and he loved Fleetwood mac so I was sold.  He asked me to go on a date and I thought why not, what’s the harm? For the sake of this story we will name my prince charming Matt.  So Matt told me he would pick me up after his lab on Friday and we could go to dinner and a movie.  Around 6ish he said he was on his way.  The original plan was to go to In-n-Out which didn’t end up happening but it is crucial to the story that you know this.  When he got to my apartment he got out of the car to give me a hug and do all the awkward first date introductions.  When I first saw him I was pleasantly surprised with his Loafiness (which is a made up term about the characteristics of my ideal man, think Jason Segel or Andy Dwyer) so I was pretty happy.  He mentioned that the movie started sooner then he expected so he suggested we go to Petra which is much closer to the movie theatre and I was totally fine with that.  The conversation was flowing and I really thought we were vibing, as the young people say.  I didn’t check my phone all through dinner because I didn’t want to be rude.  After we finished, we walked to the movies to see Zootopia, his choice not mine, but 10 out of 10 would recommend. The whole movie I could tell he was building up the courage to hold my hand but never made the move ( I can confirm this because he told me afterwards that he was trying to but was too nervous) but I was glad he didn’t because my hand was sweaty.  I don’t go on a lot of date, don’t judge me.

After the movie I checked my phone for the first time all night and had 15 missed calls and about 30 text messages from my friends thoroughly concerned about my safety.  I thought Hmm that’s odd.  I found out later that my friends used Find my friends app to see my location and when my phone said I wasn’t at in-n-out, like I had told them previously, naturally they thought I was kiddnapped.  They proceed to get in a car and attempt to track down my phone and were lead to a bush in an abandoned parking lot which only heightened their suspicions so they drove to the movie theatre and stood outside until our movie got out and followed us to the car without me noticing.  Although my friends are way too intrusive, I was touched by how much they cared about me. But back to what was going on with me…

So after the movie, to my knowledge, the date was going pretty smoothly UNTIL he asked if I had any plans for the rest of the night.  Which it was like 11:30 and obviously I wanted to go to bed but I said I didn’t have anything planned.  We decided to go to the beach to walk on avila pier.  Things started to take a turn DUN DUN DUUUUN.  I found out more about him on the car ride over like how he smoked weed a lot, was a part time DJ and he mentioned something about wanting to be a pilot but ultimately decided not to because they didn’t make enough money.  He told me this after I mentioned my dad was pilot. Hmmm.  Finally we got to the beach and the pier was closed so we drove farther down the road where there were minimal street lights and no people.  DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS. We decided to go for a walk by the water.  I know in hindsight this is a stupid thing to do but I lived to tell the tale so we’re good.  Once we ran out of sand to walk on we sat down and talked.  We started canoodling until SUDDENLY the tide came all the way up.  When the tide came up, it soaked my entire backside.  We both jumped up and I ran after my Rainbow sandals that were being swept off with the water.  Unfortunately I couldn’t grab them in time so I had to walk back to the car wet, sandy and barefoot.  Great first date, Am I right?! Once we were back in the car we canoodled a little longer but it was late so we headed home.  We said our goodbyes and I shuffled up the stair  with my sandy feet to recap the story with my roommates.

Although it was a bit of a rough first date, I saw potential.  Matt and I had one more interesting encounter but then he ghosted me… that’s a whole other story.  Am I a tinderrella? Well I lost my shoe(s) and my outfit was ruined by midnight so the answer is yes. Also bonus, Matt told me “this is the best first date I’ve ever had” not to toot my own horn.  As for me, I’d give it a solid 6.

 

Falling in Love Abroad

Studying abroad in London, I had high expectations.  Most of those expectations have been fulfilled.  With these expectations, naturally came the expectation that I would fall in love with a young British chap who was getting his masters at Oxford, who hung out with Will and Kate occasionally, and had great teeth.  Nothing too unattainable. Except maybe the teeth thing.  This simple request has yet to be fulfilled but I came really darn close in the Hyde Park this past weekend…

I’ll set the tone: It was a beautiful day in London and Tati, a friend of mine, and I were going for a walk in the park trying to find Kensington Palace.  We were on one path with no other people except one man walking in front of us.  All the sudden this older man turned around to talk to us.  He asked for directions to the Peter Pan statue which sounded like an innocent question even though the path we were on passed the Peter Pan statue and we were walking in the opposite direction and there were multiple signs pointing in the direction to the statue. Red flag. The man seemed like he was in his early forties because his hair was slightly graying and he gave the appearance as someone who could have multiple children so I assumed (never assume) that he was just a friendly guy when he started making small talk.  He started asking more specific questions about us like our names, where we were studying, what our travel plans were, how much longer we were in London, where we were from in the United states and me being the naive  suburban girl I am, I answered all the questions without hesitation. I don’t know why I didn’t just give him my address and room number while I was at it.  Regardless, he seemed like he was just a naturally friendly person.  Some point early on Tati drifted away like a sane human being and left me to make small talk with the stranger.  He made a weird comment about how much he liked Americans. Red flag. At this point we had been talking for about 10 mins even though his original ‘intent’ was asking for directions. I was being very polite UNTIl… he asked if we wanted to go to his house for ‘drinks’. RED FLAG. I thought this elderly man (really only 40 but that’s a life time away from me) was genuinely lost when in reality he probably never intended on seeing the peter pan statue, his loss.  My deemer changed real quick. I don’t get asked out by a lot of guys, I know surprising, so I don’t understand proper protocol for rejecting someone.  I told him we were going out of town for the weekend, which was true, and thought that would be the end when he proceeded to say “I’m sorry, I just really like you”. WE HAVE SURPASSED RED FLAG. I will admit that I am a very likable person but something told me that he was using that as code for something else.  He then repeated that phrase a few more times while I stood there paralyzed by fear.  Although I was uncomfortable, I stupidly did not run for the hills.  Alex (I forgot to mention his name before but it’s Alex) then changed his tactic and asked if I’ve smoked water vapor. I am not hip with the drugs so I asked if he was talking about hookah which he said no but then described in detail what you did and it sounded like hookah. Again, I don’t do the drugs so I could be wrong.  I politely declined, although my voice was a little shaky by this point, and said I didn’t do anything involving inhaling substances.  I then tried to make a nice exit at that point but he proceeded to ask for my number.  I told him it was international and I couldn’t use it in London. That was my polite way of saying no but then he said “we could viber, Skype, what’s app” this old guy was surprisingly up to date with his technology.  At this point I was all out of polite excuses and just said no. He pleaded a few more times with “I’m sorry, I just really like you” but I pretended we had a reservation at 4 in the afternoon that I suddenly remembered we were late for.  Hopefully that is the last time I will see Alex.

Although I have yet to meet a nice, young, charming Prince Harry look alike, I got pretty close. Just kidding. This was to date the most traumatizing experience thus far in England but I think it taught me a valuable lesson about strangers that I think I was suppose to learn in Kindergarden. Don’t talk to them.  Have I found my european boyfriend? no. But was I pretty close? still no.  I will keep you all updated because the search is still alive and thriving.

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This picture represents how I felt during this experience.

Tara Kristine Jacobson