The Time I Almost Became a Stepmother

Disclaimer: This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done.

So this story starts with none other then, you guessed it, TINDER. It all happened over a year and a half ago when I matched with this pretty cute guy. We didn’t talk that much and I had thought things weren’t really going to go anywhere. I didn’t know much about him except his first name but he added me on snapchat and I stupidly accepted. Months went by without contact and then one night we started to talk on snapchat and he invited me and my friends over for a bonfire at 2 A.M. RED FLAG. Us being the stupid girls we were, decided it sounded like a good idea to meet this stranger. So around 1:30 A.M. we started driving out to his house in Atascadero. I warned you that this was a story about me doing something stupid…

As we are driving into his neighborhood, a deer jumped out of the bushes and we almost got in a car accident. I should have realized that was a bad omen and we should have turned back, but then there would be no story to write about. We finally arrived and met Gavin* and his roommates. We went to their backyard to sit around the fire and chat. We found out that all three of the boys were taking an indefinite “break” from community college but didn’t specify why. RED FLAG. Two of the boys worked on a fishing boat together while Gavin was unemployed at the time. Also only two of the boys lived in the house while one of them lived in a RV in the driveway. RED FLAG. There was obviously no connection between the six of us so I was trying to think of a way out. After like 45 minutes of small talk, I said “should we take a tour of the house” as a way to slowly make our way to the door but everyone assumed I was making a move on Gavin. I WAS NOT. So just Gavin and I went on a tour of the house. He honestly just showed me his bedroom *eye roll.* He had all these football and wrestling trophies, and when I asked him about them, he said that he had to stop playing because he had too many injuries to the head. We canoodled a little bit but it was clear there was no chemistry.

Eventually we made our way back to the yard and I had noticed a change in the vibe between everyone. Something felt off and after only 10 more minutes my friends said they were tired and were ready to go which I was more than happy to do so. As we were walking to the car, my friends started running and freaking out and as I ran to catch up with them they informed me that Gavin had a 5 year old daughter. FIVE YEARS OLD. He was twenty at the time meaning he had a child his freshman year of high school. I was too afraid to kiss a boy in high school let alone have intercourse. My friends proceeded to tell me that they saw a small pink bike in the yard and made a joke about it to the roommates when they revealed the truth about Gavin. Gavin had some how forgotten to tell me about his child during our canoodle sesh.

When we got back we did a little research and realized it took one Facebook search to find him and his daughter all over. Also his tinder profile picture had a bunch of pictures with a little girl but I assumed it was just his niece or something. You know what assuming does…. I honestly think it was karma for making such stupid choices. It taught me a valuable life lesson: make sure to do sufficient social media stalking before meeting a Tinder boy.

So it’s safe to say Gavin and I did not continue talking after that incident and I have been a lot more cautious about my Tinder experiences…. or have I?

*Gavin is not his real name.

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