My First Time


This is about the crazy, outrageous time that I first……..

drank alcohol! Haha tricked ya. Recently I’ve been making a lot of drunken mistakes, saying things I don’t mean, doing things I shouldn’t be doing, just a lot of mistakes…So I thought I would tell the story of how it all began.

It’s important to note that high school Tara was on her high horse and vowed she wouldn’t drink alcohol until she was 21.  She also vowed not to kiss random boys, not to smoke weed, and not even say the Fuck word. I should have mentioned this was a very high horse.  Everyone was convinced that I was going to drink in college and go crazy but I was convinced I had too high of morals for that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So you might be wondering how long in college I made it without drinking and the answer is 3 weeks. I made it 3 whole weeks before I threw in the towel and fell off my high horse.  But no ragrets, right?

So the plan was made.  Trisha, my freshmen year college guru, said she would walk me through it and make sure that nothing crazy goes down.  Another certain someone who also lived in the dorm with us said he would also make sure everything went smoothly and promised to stay on top of the situation. This soccer player, who shall not be named, ended up being written up that night for intoxication so it’s fair to say he wasn’t that helpful.

We (Trisha and I) decided shots were the most effective way to get the job done, so I choked down two and a half shots of vodka; half of the third shot ended up all over my shirt because I was already ‘too turnt.’  This is where the infamous name Two Shot Tara originated. I was laying down on Trisha’s bed looking up and pondering life because alcohol made me very insightful.  I was having a grand ol time UNTIL creepy Craig* walked in.

Background: Creepy Craig* (not his real name) was from another tower that I briefly met one day and was friendly to but apparently he took my friendly and bubbly personality as flirting and developed a ‘fascination’ for me.

Creepy Craig decided to come see me on the first night I was ever getting turnt and it was really uncomfortable. He literally sat down in Trisha’s room for an extended amount of time while I was trying to peacefully ponder life.  Eventually unnamed soccer player said something that insinuated that Creepy Craig was not welcome and Trisha asked him to leave.  After that, Creepy Craig did not come back but he would walk very close behind me to a lot of my classes. Fun fact: last year Courtney, my current roommate, made out with him.

Back to the story, So I finally decided to stand up after letting the alcohol do its thing and when I tried getting off the bed, I fell to the ground soon realizing that alcohol impairs your motor skills. I can’t remember a whole lot more because I was just too gone after those two and half shots but I wanted to tell this story because I wasn’t always as crazy as I am now. In fact I use to be the opposite of crazy, but I’m just making up for all the years I was suppose to be a stupid rebellious teen when I was actually going to bed at 9:30pm every night and studying on the weekend. LOL.

Honestly I don’t even drink that much…



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